It’s finals week, a time that for many can be filled with great amounts of stress. Many of you may start to see your news feeds littered with stories of those who decided to cheat in order to pass with various creative methods. Some of them will get caught, but I am here to share with you a foolproof method for cheating on finals.
The first thing to do is find out what is going to be on the test. You can usually find this information in the syllabus, or on eLearning. If you can’t find any information there, just ask the professor. Sometimes hiding in plain sight is the least suspicious thing you can do.
You will need a secure location for the next step. I recommend the library study rooms for their unrivaled privacy and lack of interruption. (The library also provides coffee during finals week to fuel your diabolical plans. It is also open for an extra hour on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday) Remember to prepare ahead of time. Last second attempts almost always fail or get caught.
This next step is the most important. You need to take the information that you know will be on the final and write it onto your memory. Repetition is your friend here. Flash cards and mnemonic devices can help here too. This is very important as the teacher CANNOT see what is inside of your head. You can hide any amount of information in there with little to no repercussions.
Get a good night’s rest. You’ll need it.
Finally, on the day of the test, confidence is key. Walk through the door in the least suspicious way you can muster. Write down all the information that you “snuck in” and leave to avoid suspicion. Remember, the teacher has NO way of knowing that you have all the answers. Unless you tell him or her, you will NOT get caught. 
If you made it this far and followed all the steps you should be good to go. Be sure to laugh at all the other students who are “studying.” You know better. Enjoy your break.
~Ryan Eshelman